Wish ko lang...

Its so good to discover a song that has lyrics that you wish you could shout out loud...

ROOTLESS TREE by Damien Rice

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
and all we've been through.

I said leave it, leave it, leave it,
There's nothing in you.
And if you hate me, hate me, hate me, hate me so good
then you can let me out

let me out, let me out
of this hell when you're around.
Let me out, let me out, let me out.
Hell when you're around.
Let me out, let me out, let me out.

I love Damien Rice. I can't believe I've been deleted...

Very very me...Agree? I don't actually care...thanks MEC for that post

I found the post below when I was randomly searching for some persons I met during my last wallclimbing session...I was looking them up in the net since they were "celebrities" but my work buddy couldn't picture out who they were from just the names...anyway, when I saw the post below...I couldn't help but think...this is so me...so funny that her initials (if they were initials) were the same initials as my mine... M.E.C.

I'm copying this so I wouldn't loose it...I messaged her, I hope she doesn't mind...

I cannot deny the WOMAN I am...

SENSUAL... I like pleasurable things... I like gentle words... I like stimulating conversations... I like touching... I like connecting... I like being aware... I like feeling alive...

FLIRTATIOUS... and even exhibitionistic... a shameless flirt who loves stimulating banters... an attention whore eventhough I don't necessarily strip in clubs or go out of my way to have everyone's eyes on me...

EXPRESSIVE... even though my heart is like an ocean filled with secrets and half-thoughts... I don't like keeping what I think shouldn't be kept inside... lest I burst, lest I become represed, lest it inhibit me from being who I am, lest I encourage false expectations about myself...

CONSERVATIVE... i've always known my place, my boundaries... even though I test and challenge them myself... i'd always value institutions like marriage and families... i'd always defer to a life purpose... i'd always put premium on things like honesty, loyalty, trust, respect and growth...

INTELLIGENT... and still learning about living and loving

LIBERAL... I want sex and my sexuality to be an OK thing... not something I should shy away from... not something I cannot share with other people, through words of wisdom, encouragement, rebuke... I want to celebrate how good it feels being a woman... I do not define intimacy as something totally secret...

DISCRIMINATING.... much as I like attention, much as I glorify my body... or sex, in general... I never felt I owed anyone anything... and therefore choose my friends well... and who I cavort naked with... Only I decide when and where and for whom to spread my legs for... regardless of whether he may already be a lover who'd feel I owe him that... because i've never been easy... i've never been a slut... Had I the capacity for immorality, i'd have been wallowing in free & expensive dinners now, topped with equally expensive gifts and trips...

VULNERABLE... I am as easily hurt as the next woman... I have hopes that can easily be dashed... I have feelings... I still don't have any armor against rejection, prejudice, unrealistic expectations... and yet, have my own silent expectations from my family, my friends, my lover...

ADVENTUROUS... I want to try new things, and meet as many people as I can... to learn from them and teach them some things myself... I want to explore my limits... I want to know how far I can go without losing myself... and killing myself... or doing harm to myself except for the sleepless nights I spend away dancing/hanging out with friends...

HOPEFUL... ROMANTIC even... never, for a day, giving up on my ultimate dream, to become a mother to children I will forever love and protect... and wife to a man who love me as passionately as I love him...

I am all these things and many more. I know I am becoming a better person. I know I will mellow out someday. I know that my priorities will always be both dynamic and fixed... I know what's true in my heart even if I don't say or show it... I know the most important things in my life... and I know the people I'd really hope I won't have to live without...

I'm a woman... with my own personality, my own interests, my own life to live... I have been hurt before and isn't really looking forward to all the other things that are sure to hurt me yet...

I'm a woman... and yet still human... I live therefore I love... I love therefore I hurt... I'm imperfect and unique therefore I cannot help but hurt myself, or other people... no matter how I love them...

posted by Mec

Never ever forget...

Was browsing through articles in the net and this one got my attention...I think this is true for a lot of people I know...Since my blog serves as my online repository of "reminders"...here is another important life reminder...

Read it...read it...:D hehe

Attraction -- Be Careful!

Research has revealed that the part of our brain that is stimulated when we are in love is not the emotional centers as once thought, but the part of the brain that controls physical lust. In other words, being in love has everything to do with sex and little to do with love. Emotionally, after the sex, we become attached to the company of the other person and use them for our pleasure. When they are away from us, we become despondent, like any addict that is missing a fix, and can’t wait until we see them again, so that they can stimulate our senses. We see them, touch them, smell them, taste them, think about them, listen to them – all of our senses are involved, and this is happiness.

When the sex cools, as it will (believe it or not) usually beginning in about 2 years and really becoming everyday in seven years, all the pleasure we once derived from the other person begins to change. We don’t hold hands as much now, or talk all night as we once did. In other words, the other person doesn’t stimulate our senses as they once did.

A new romance will certainly revive this sensory excitement, and this is why many couples choose to stray a bit. Then of course, everything crashes, and what was once heaven becomes a horrible hell, as everything is sorted out.

About fifty percent of couples, however, do make it. This is usually because the lust they once felt has turned into respect and admiration, as each has repeatedly given themselves up in many ways, every day, to their partner in a selfless manner. When two are doing this, the partnership becomes very strong. The difference between maturity and stupidity is the reliance on sensual pleasure for happiness and contentment. You can easily spot those who are addicted to their senses. Just look at their lives.

Trust in a partnership is the key. Without trust, everything that we work toward is tainted. Mutual trust is crucial. Trusting each other completely means that every obstacle can be overcome, and each can be secure in their feelings and in their work toward a common goal. Without trust, everything falls apart as each is forced to selfishly fend for him or herself, losing the vulnerability and simplicity of love.

When out in daily life, always think of your partner’s welfare before taking any action. Our thoughts preclude words and our words many times preclude actions. Therefore, be careful of your thoughts. That is your first protection. If this protection fails, then be careful of your words because the complications of a first word will grow like flowering vines in springtime. The last protection is your actions. This is where your karma is made. Be fearful of wrong action for it will haunt you for innumerable lifetimes as well as possibly making this very existence a living hell.

So understand that initial attraction is no more than animal lust, and has nothing to do with what happens in the long run. It’s a crapshoot. If you want to determine how things will be down the line, wisdom must prevail over hormones. Animals can have sex; sex is not rocket science. It’s easy to do. But animals walk away . . . we can’t.

Flowers in December

Was listening to my beloved Wickerpark soundtrack and re-discovered this song by Star Mazzy. Its so relaxing.

Flowers In December by STAR MAZZY

Before I let you down again
I just want to see you, in your eyes
I wouldn't have taken everything out on you
I only thought you could understand.

They say every man goes blind in his heart.
And they say everybody steals somebody's heart away
And I've got nothing more to say about it
Nothing more than you and me.

Save me a flower of your December
Save me a dream of your candy wine
I've got just one thing I can't give you
Just one more thing of mine.

They say every man goes black in his heart
And they say everybody steals somebody's heart away
And I've been wondering why you let me down
And I've been taking it all for granted.

Art of losing...

I was watching the movie "In her shoes" last night and was touched by the poem that was read somewhere in the middle of it. Good thing I remembered the author and title. :) This goes so well with my blog yesterday hehe...

I also like the poem read in the last part of the movie but didn't get the title or author...Anyway, at least I'll have something to look forward to... I'll be researching that one soon hehe...

One Art

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster,

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three beloved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

-- Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) a disaster.

Elizabeth Bishop

Sigh...

I'm in Baguio, home, in a while we'll be leaving again for the big bad city... weekends can be so short... I'm with my sister who'll be leaving the Phili within the next two weeks... I'm sad... this is the sister I've been w/ all my life... Even if I'm the eldest, she was already in my 1st Bday pic...she was one month old then... But that's life... we might want to let things stay as they were when we were young... all of us together... But we each have our own lives and if we want to truly live out our lives we can't always hold on to the past... we can't let anything hold us back...Change as they say is inevitable...I hate it...everytime we go home to Baguio and we're all together, it seems that we regress back to being kids again... no others... just us...making dad buy green mangoes, oreos, coke, anything... requesting much missed home cooked meals... haaay...next time we won't be as complete anymore... somebody will be bored in Hawaii...and we'll miss her... :(... My friend who is also close to my sister was the one who actually triggered this pent-up emotion...After dinner and all the catching up, she realized my sister was leaving and insisted she pass by the house to say goodbye... I hate goodbyes... now that she started it I feel that leaving later will be hard... I don't think my sister will come back here before she flies to surf land...:(

Sigh...that's life...Now I have to think happy thoughts... I don't like to be sad...One day I'll be the one to leave and I'll be happy then...for now hmmm...hmmm...ahh there! I'll visit my sister soon and will finally be able to surf hawaii! Yahoo!!! Life is sweet...

Mad World

Its weird how you suddenly re-discover a song that actually expresses what you feel at that perfect moment when you are feeling exactly what the song is crooning about.

Hehe...an office friend forwarded a very touching animated cartoon entitled Kiwi (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdUUx5FdySs). As I watched it over and over (can't help it) I noticed that someone created a version with background music set to "Mad World". So I watched it! Aside from the music being so "right on" for the clip, I can't help but notice how the music (Mad World) was so "perfect" for me. So, I just had to find and listen to the whole song. And of course I found it (thanks youtube mwaaah). :)

Discovered that this version (I love) of the original Tears for Fears song was by Gary Jules.

Listen and watch the video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N3N1MlvVc4), you'll feel happy and sad and floaty after hehe.

As usual I love getting the lyrics of songs I like, so here is

"Mad World"

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cos I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

The.PowerBook - Jeanette Winterson

I found this book lying around in our room and since I needed something to make me sleep, I picked it up and started reading.

I slept late that night...I couldn't put it down. Good thing it was grouped together as chapters w/ each having a story of its own. I didn't have to finish the whole book to be sated.

I loved the way it was written, like a song. A poem.

Anyway, here is one of the short chapters...I like to make sure its w/ me. At least for as long as friendster blog is alive.

VIRTUAL WORLD

Night.

I logged on to the Net. There were no e-mails for me. You had run out on the story. Run out on me. Vanished.

I typed in your address.

Nothing.

I set one of the search engines to find you.

Nothing.

Here I am like a penitent in a confessional. I want to tell you how I feel, but there's nobody on the other side of the screen.

What did I expect?

This is a virtual world. This is a world inventing itself. Daily, new landmasses form and then submerge. New continents of thought break off from the mainland. Some benefit from a trade wind, some sink without a trace. Others are like Atlantis -- fabulous, talked about, but never found.

Found objects wash up on the shores of my computer. Tin cans and old tyres mix with the pirate's stuff. The buried treasure is really there, but caulked and outlandish. Hard to spot because unfamiliar, and a few of us can see what has never been named.

I'm looking for something, it's true.

I'm looking for the meaning inside the data.

That's why I trawl my screen like a beachcomber -- looking for you, looking for me, trying to see through the disguise.

I guess I've been looking for us both all my life.

-----------------------------------

Nice noh? :)

Why by Annie Lennox

Wow what a song...

Here's an excerpt that really tugged at me heartstings...

This is the book I never read
These are the words I never said
This is the path I'll never tread
These are the dreams I'll dream instead
This is the joy that's seldom spread
These are the tears...
The tears we shed
This is the fear
This is the dread
These are the contents of my head
And these are the years that we have spent
And this is what they represent
And this is how I feel
Do you know how I feel
'cause i don't think you know how I feel
I don't think you know what I feel
I don't think you know what I fear
You don't know what I fear

Only for the brave...

I love drinking. When you're drunk, you have no inhibitions, no care, no problems...you're the most honest under the influence of this great great discovery (whoever discovered this fermentation thing should be a God!)...

I don't believe the people who use this state as an excuse..."lasing lang ako"... BULLSHIT! At that moment, decision time, you decided to do whatever it is you did! You should thank it instead for giving you the courage to do whatever it is you wanted to do for the longest time...Of course, I exclude those who in their drunken state passed out and didn't recall whatever...THAT is not the state I'm talking about here.

Anyway, this is where I agree with the "responsible drinker" stuff...drink ONLY if you can take responsibility for whatever action it is you did at the time you were drunk...When you say whatever it is you say, do whatever it is you do...next day, don't look back and say...I did what? --> You were happy then, be happy now.

I know people who'll be reading this will say, "O come on Omi!". But hey, I learned my lesson. Now, I love it when I dance on tables, chairs,  laps, whatever... the next day...I say "I did what?" and smile...

That was really fun... :)